I’ve got a project or 4 left to do, but I’m too tired to get started on them. I’ve never felt so frustrated in my life. So much happening & even more left to do, but I can’t do anything yet because my sister is wide awake. Tomorrow’s the day. I’m still planning on getting my room more cleaned up, but I think I’m going to take a nap first. When morning comes, I’ll be just realizing I didn’t do what I wanted & have to work on the last 4 projects while we have the ‘baby shower’ happening. I don’t think I want to let that happen, so I’m going to end this now & get back to my projects. THEN I’ll take a nap. 😀 Bye!
So…
I’m going to sign onto IMVU a little later. I want to give my comp a break seeing as it’s been running all day today. I recorded my first actual segments of Matty’s Life. It took me a while to record, so I’ve been going with it for quite a bit, & now my comp needs a rest. I’ll be back soon. K, BYE!
Target!
OK, OK, so… I made a promise, & I TRIED REEEEEAALLY hard to keep it, but you know what… I went to Target! I found this really cute onsie set for Matty. It’s cute, really… so so cute… Well, I got myself a banket… Yes, I did it… I said banket! It’s soft & plush & blue & sized just right for my arms… Well, it’s mine, so whatevs… +… & this is the best part… I found a special gift for Matthew’s youngest cousin, who hasn’t arrived yet, but is on her way. Just don’t get her anything new yet, OK? B/c what I found is so adorable & so perfect. It’s EXACTLY what you said her theme is. So, just don’t buy her a stuffed animal of ANY kind, OK? I can’t say much more, but I’m just worried if I got you something & you have it already… So, I found this cute thing that’s stuffed & pink & perfect for her. It’s oo… ok. It’s so cute, just don’t go shopping for anything stuffed for her, OK? 😀 That’s all I can say. I’ve gotta get some sleep. It’s 11pm, & to me it feels like 9AM…. b/c I woke up at 7 this morning, & have been going since non stop so I’m over tired, over dramatized & over pissed about … well, over done & over reacting to over exhaustion! K, bye! NIGHT! P.S. sorry about IMVU the past few nights, I’ve just been SO tired lately! Well… BYE!
Me
A different side of me… trying to be wide-eyed when I’m actually very sleepy. Will see how it pans out as the night progresses as to whether or not I will be back online after my nap. I SEVERELY need a nap! Well, gonna take one, so byee!
Too Long A Weekend
I’m in the middle of a million & 1 thoughts, & all of a sudden, stuff happens where I can’t concentrate on anything anymore. Do I really want to talk in a post? NO. So after a really long weekend ALREADY, & a gigantic headache, I’m done typing. Goodbye! LOL
What’s Done Is Done
I’ve made a video about how to fix the sling, so we’ll see how it goes. I know I’m no expert, but I’ve got this feeling that it might just go very well. 😀 I can’t really stay on long. Matthew & I have plans to watch some TV. I just wanted to say what was on my mind, as little as is. LOL!
Hastily Reacted
OK, so maybe last week I got too angry too fast, but IMVU didn’t give me my 2,000 credits for the stuff I upgraded! I was angry. But I’m not now. I’m always going to find reason to be angry w/ IMVU, b/c there are times IMVU really does make me angry. I’m just glad it didn’t MESS UP my computer. I’m going to try again, & maybe this time it will work.
Tired
I’m sorry, but I’m sick & tired of waiting around for stupid IMVU to make up it’s stupid mind. I keep trying to load pages & do stuff on stupid IMVU, & EVERY time I do, stupid IMVU kicks me off, gives me bubbles above my head but no chatbox, tells me I’m disconnected when I’m not, closes windows, ends my chat, or just plain fucks with me. I’m sorry, OK, but the fact of the matter is it bothers me that stupid IMVU can’t make up stupid IMVU’s mind. I knew there was a reason I left stupid IMVU! Ugh! I hate sitting through their crappy graphics, & trying to keep up with the chats & even sitting through stupid “set-ups” stupid IMVU tries to give me. I’m done trying to pay attention to everything on stupid IMVU, so if there’s anything I’m not going to do, it’s going to be spend every night waiting on stupid IMVU. If it logs me out, I’m going to send a warning now that I might just disappear until the next invite. LOL It’s not to be mean, I just don’t know whether or not my invites get through, or if I’m just being messed with, so I’m going to say no more playing around. I’ll chat on stupid IMVU, but I’m not going to let it make me get headaches every night anymore. I need to sleep, so I’m going to say goodnight now. I will return when stupid IMVU makes up it’s stupid mind whether or not it’s going to actually send my invites, or if it’s even going to let the invites sent to me come through. So, goodnight, & talk to you again soon.
My Note To Cassie
Dear Cassie,
I do love you very much, it’s true. But to see you change your mind so much upsets me. I know you will fall in love with Matthew when you meet him. It’s hard to understand right now, but in time you will understand. You will fall in love with him & know that he is your baby brother. You will get to know him with all the love you have. It is only hard right now b/c he’s not here, & we haven’t heard anything in days. When he arrives, you will fall in love with him as I said you would. You will always be loved, just as all the others before you are still loved right now. I still spend time with them when I have them around me. Love does not get smaller or go away. It only gets bigger & lasts a lifetime & beyond. Mine will never disappear or get smaller, least of all for you, who has been there for me through a lot of hard moments.
Love, Mommy
The Anticipation
He’s in a truck. Sitting in the back of some truck that’s in a parking lot waiting for day light. I’ve said it before. Probably a million times already. I’m NOT a doll person. (Doll person?) But really, I’m not. I don’t mind dolls. I love the kids I know in NY. I don’t mind their being around me. They’re fine. I mean, I don’t mind dolls, but to have a bunch of them sitting on a shelf, staring down at you every day from childhood… it would creep you out, too. I was. I mean, I look at the kids, & I’m fine. It’s like “Hey, they’re kids, not dolls.” But for me to “collect” them, or WANT them… NO WAY! You know what it is? It’s like those people who are obsessed w/ cats. They have a dozen or so. They find them under a car in a parking lot, & “rescue” them. Bring them home to the rest of the cats & have only 1 litter box. You look at that & it’s like “gross.” Who would want to live there? Sad I know people who do b/c they are that cat obsessed person. Why would you want to allow your pets to be set in a room where they don’t even like other people. To me, such is a “doll person.” Not to say being a doll person is what bothers me, just the idea of displaying them to “look at.” “Don’t touch, it’s breakable.” That’s what always got to me. Fine, collectors, I get it, but to say “No, you can’t give that beautiful thing attention.” I just can’t, myself. Nothing wrong for those of you out there who do, just… it’s not for me, you know. I’m very loving. I need to love. I like the idea of having something, or someone that NEEDS to be loved. It just works for me. Love is the easy part, it’s the end of it that I don’t get. You never fall out, b/c if that’s the case, you were never there to begin with. You can love, but you cannot fall out of love. You cannot stop loving. If you loved to begin with, you ALWAYS love. If you believe you fall out of love, it just means you never loved that person. Well, I need to have that love. I don’t like to be touched… I don’t like touchy-feely people. I don’t mind a hug once in a while, but don’t grab & say you know, or think I need a hug. Don’t pull me or expect me to just hug you for nothing. But when II want it, that’s when you know I mean it. I want it this time. Matthew Christopher is who I want to love. More than ever. THIS is a HUGE deal to me. Not just some “Oh, she’s new so she’ll change her mind about dolls.” thing, NO… More like “I DON’T like dolls that way… EVER.” kind of thing BIG DEAL. People who know me don’t even know this stuff. It’s not nothing. I don’t collect dolls. I don’t look them up & think what I want next. I don’t sit & stare at pictures all day long, wishing I could have that. THIS is new to me. Maternal instinct, or just plain doll love, this is BRAND new to me. I don’t only want this, I actually NEED this! Matty, WHERE ARE YOU????? I NEEEEEEEEED YOU!
butterflyrosem 